Monday, April 20, 2009

The times, they are a changin'

I just found out today that Hirono is not going to be doing the marathon. Its bad enough I don't see her at work everyday now, but now- not even the marathon to look forward to with her!

This brings on mixed feeling for me. I totally respect her decision- she hadn't been able to get her training rolling and she always told me- you get out of it, what you put into it. She did her last marathon in Oct- which was not that long ago. She wasn't able to do the Pasadena Half- because she was sick. But there's another part of me that's a little disappointed. I didn't originally get into this to do it alone. I thought it would be great to have a buddy. Even though I admit, I thought I might drag her down since I am walking and not running, but knowing she was going to be there was also exciting.

All in all, there was something inside me that kind of knew this might happen. Call it instinct, call it divine light... I think its all about accepting things being the way they are supposed to be at this moment in time. I have been doing the majority of this training alone. I have been finding more strength in myself to make tough decisions that are about my personal independence and letting go of interdependence and enmeshment. It had been a journey in finding my way, my strength and my peace as I got through these extraordinary circumstances. It has been finding time for ME- to take care of ME- while still taking care of others, the right way.

I know Hirono will be with me during the race, even if it is just in spirit. She is the one who opened this door for me. But I am definitely the one who is power-walking her way through it.

God Bless you Hirono and Thank you for everything.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Noelle,

    I was really down on myself for not sticking with my commitment, but I finally came to term with the decision and I'm finally okay with it (Hee hee .. I get over things pretty quickly). Like your instinct, I also knew deep inside that this was not my marathon. It wasn't my time. But it is YOURS and I'm here 100% to support you! I'm your biggest fan and cheerleader! But know that this doesn't mean that I gave up running and I promise you that there will be many more walks to be had together! I hope to run the LA in the future and maybe we can reunite then!

    GO NOELLE!

    Love,
    Hirono

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